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From tamsun!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!linac!att!oucsboss!oucsace!ptully Fri Feb 7 13:39:48 CST 1992
Article: 16278 of rec.humor
Path: tamsun!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!linac!att!oucsboss!oucsace!ptully
From: ptully@bigbird.cs.ohiou.edu (Patrick Tully)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Your request Is my command...Sorority Jokes
Message-ID: <4845@oucsace.cs.OHIOU.EDU>
Date: 2 Feb 92 01:48:49 GMT
Sender: usenet@oucsace.cs.OHIOU.EDU
Organization: Ohio University CS Dept., Athens
Lines: 199
THE CANONICAL LIST OF SORORITY GIRL JOKES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce herself.
Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
'Cause everyone gets a turn.
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie on
the bed.
Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
A sorority girl was hitch-hiking along an empty desert highway. After
five or six cars had passed her without even slowing down, she decided she
really wanted out of there. She decided the quickest way to get someone's
attention was to take off all her clothes. Then came along a motorcycle
gang. The gang spotted her, and acted quickly. They drug her off into
a side canyon and gang-dressed her.
What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
Garbage gets taken out once a week.
Garbage smells better.
Sorority girls attract more flies.
What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
Bay of Pigs.
What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
Multiple total eclipses.
What is a sorority girl's mating call...
"I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl??
Nothing. There are some things a sorority girl won't do.
I don't know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
I don't know, but when it sucks your cock, it does't stop until it
gets blood.
Tri Delts; I'm sure everyone else has.
If your date won't, Tri Delts.
Once you've tried everyone else, Tri Delts.
__________ __________
\ / /\ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\/ /________\ \/
Tri Delts: Two out of three go down.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?
Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
7, one to change it and six to go out and buy Tab (or diet Coke).
65, 1 to do it and 64 to sing and clap.
One. She holds on to it and the world revolves around her.
Six. One to screw it in and five to make the T-shirts.
Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
She's been laid all over the country.
What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
"Attention K-mart shoppers"
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.
What is a sorority girl's favorite sexual position?
Facing Bloomingdale's.
What's the difference between Jell-o and a sorority girl?
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
The Dead Sea.
Lake Placid.
How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
No makeup.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a barracuda?
Nail polish.
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
Marry her.
Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at once
What's the difference between a telephone booth and a sorority girl?
You don't need a quarter for the sorority girl.
What do you say to a sorority girl that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
Why does a sorority girl wear underwear?
To keep her ankles warm.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Rolls Royce?
Not everybody has been in a Rolls Royce.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
How is a sorority girl like a vacuum cleaner?
They both suck.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a vacuum cleaner?
You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
When a vacuum cleaner is full of sh*t, its easy to dump the old bag.
A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
Tell them there's a rich guy sitting on it.
Turn the chair upside down.
What's the difference between a tribe of sly pygmies and a
sorority girl track team?
The tribe of sly pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
What does the Bermuda Triangle and Sorority girls have in common?
They both swallow semen.
What does a sorority girl make for dinner?
Reservations.
Why does a sorority girl wear a gold diaphragm?
So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money.
What is foreplay for a sorority girl?
Thirty minutes of begging.
What did the sorority girl say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
Oh, Daaaaddy, it's ok, I'm not hurt.
What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
sorority girl?
A prostitute says "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says "You're done
already?", and a sorority girl says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling
beige."
From: Bob
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: Need sorority girl jokes
Date: 26 Jan 92 01:49:40 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
Lines: 289
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humor: Sorority Girls (50)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[1]
What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
==
[2]
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
==
[3]
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
==
[4]
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
==
[5]
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
==
[6]
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce herself.
Walks home.
==
[7]
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
==
[8]
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
==
[9]
What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
==
[10]
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
==
[11]
Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
'Cause everyone gets a turn.
==
[12]
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie on
the bed.
==
[13]
Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
==
[14]
A sorority girl was hitch-hiking along an empty desert highway. After
five or six cars had passed her without even slowing down, she decided she
really wanted out of there. She decided the quickest way to get someone's
gang. The gang spotted her, and acted quickly. They drug her off into
a side canyon and gang-dressed her.
==
[15]
What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
Garbage gets taken out once a week.
==
[16]
What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
Bay of Pigs.
==
[17]
What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
Multiple total eclipses.
==
[18]
What is a sorority girl's mating call...
"I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"
==
[19]
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
==
[20]
What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl??
Nothing. There are some things a sorority girl won't do.
I don't know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
I don't know, but when it sucks your cock, it does't stop until it
gets blood.
==
[21]
1) Tri Delts; I'm sure everyone else has.
2) If your date won't, Tri Delts.
3) Once you've tried everyone else, Tri Delts.
==
[22]
__________ __________
\ / /\ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\/ /________\ \/
Tri Delts: Two out of three go down.
==
[23]
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?
Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
==
[24]
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
-Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
-Seven. One to change it and six to go out and buy Tab (or diet Coke).
-65, 1 to do it and 64 to sing and clap.
-One. She holds on to it and the world revolves around her.
-Eight. One to screw it in, two to hug her, and five to make tee-shirts.
-Ten. Nine to stand around scratching their heads, and one to
get her boyfriend to do it.
==
[25]
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bathroom ?
After you use the bathroom you don't have to drive it home.
==
[26]
Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
She's been laid all over the country.
==
[27]
What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
"Attention K-mart shoppers"
==
[28]
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.
==
[29]
What is a sorority girl's favorite sexual position?
Facing Bloomingdale's.
==
[30]
What's the difference between Jell-o and a sorority girl?
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
==
[31]
What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
The Dead Sea (Lake Placid is also OK).
==
[32]
How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
==
[33]
What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
No makeup.
==
[34]
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a barracuda?
Nail polish.
==
[35]
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
Marry her.
==
[36]
Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at once
==
[37]
What's the difference between a telephone booth and a sorority girl?
You don't need a quarter for the sorority girl.
==
[38]
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
==
[39]
What's the difference between a sorority girl and garbage?
Garbage smells better.
Sorority girl attract more flies.
==
[40]
What' the difference between a sorority girl and a vacuum cleaner?
Nothing. They both suck.
You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
When a vacuum cleaner is full of sh*t, its easy to dump the old bag.
A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
==
[41]
How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
Tell them there's a rich guy sitting on it.
Turn the chair upside down and put one sorority girl on each leg.
==
[42]
What's the difference between a tribe of sly pygmies and a
sorority girl track team?
The tribe of sly pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
==
[43]
What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
A case of Schlitz.
==
[44]
What's the difference between a sorority girl and parsely?
You don't eat parsely.
==
[45]
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
==
[46]
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Porsche?
Not everyone has been in a Porsche.
==
[47]
What does a frat boy say to a sorority girl that refuses him?
"Have another beer."
==
[48]
Why does a sorority girl wear underwear?
To keep her ankles warm.
==
[49]
What's the sorority girl's mating call?
I'm drunk.
What's the ugly sorority girl's mating call?
I'm REALLY drunk.
==
[50]
Q: What do frat boys/sorority girls pay to get drunk and screw?
A: About $500/semester
==
Mail whos@ddsw1.mcs.com. | Whos at ddsw1? | Yes! | What? | No, whos! | Huh? |
Who? | Who what? | No, whos@ddsw1.mcs.com! | Where? | DDSW1! | Who's there?|
Right! | Right? | Yes! | Oh, right@ddsw1.mcs.com? | No, WHOS@ddsw1.mcs.com! |
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